I drive down the driveway and see the ditch we hid in as we cheered her on at 4am the day of her surgery, the mound of snow similar to the one we sprayed a 5oh for her 50th birthday, the path we decorated, the wind chime that now sits silent but sings a beautiful song, the deck we sat on and visited for hours.

I notice the wind chimes as soon as I pull up to the house. I spoke of those wind chimes with Kathleen just a few weeks before. I recall sitting on the deck and listening to the deep tones of them ringing across the yard but tonight I saw their stillness and silence.

The smell of the wood burning stove filled the house with peace and comfort.

Two bouquets sat on the dining room table, perfectly matched with pink and peach tones. One from Jaydin’s mom and the other from Dean’s work.

I notice a frame with dried flowers pressed in between glass hanging in the kitchen. It has a note inside that reads ‘Love you to the moon and back. Love Mom.’ A keepsake that Deanna created from flowers Kathleen sent her in Camrose when she was having a tough day. Deanna said ‘I noticed those today and I’m so glad I did that, she always said that to me and so I’m happy I will always have that.’

Deanna prepares a plate of treats and offers me a cup of tea. She then pulls open a drawer full of the most beautiful variety of mugs and chose one for me and then another for her.

Peppermint tea and honey, a beautiful mug with roses and pink hearts with the word ‘love’ beautifully displayed inside. ‘It was moms cup’ and it made my tea taste especially delicious.

We shared stories, remember when’s, and Dean shared the plan for her celebration. We looked through pictures and I loved that the kids laughed and teased eachother about the presence of Ryan’s pictures on Facebook. Kathleen is so proud of both her kids but perhaps Ryan stood still the longest for a capture. I loved the laugher and joy from within that was so present tonight.

Another story Dean shared, was that she had found out on December 23 she had lung cancer and insisted they drive to my house on the 24th to drop off a gift for my birthday. Even after hearing devastating news, she thought of me and how unfair it was to have a Christmas Eve birthday. Kathleen always made my birthday special. She truly is one of a kind!

When Dean started to share the order of the events at her celebration, he spoke of when Rebecca and I would go up. He said “It is a family event and you will keep it clean.” I laughed as I had shared in my morning writing that he would say something like that. We had a good laugh together and I later shared the picture of what I had written. ‘Dean rules’ I called it and I love that he found it funny too.

Dean described their final night at hospital with her. They were not aware it would be their last but the beauty within that visit is everlasting. Kathleen was surrounded by Dean, her kids and their significant others. She saw the support they were to each other and no doubt a peace within as she knew they would get through her loss together. She knew she could go in peace and soon after they left for home, she did.

As I’m leaving, Dean shares one final story, what he and his family envisioned for Kathleen. They saw her arriving in heaven, greeted and having a cup of tea with granny and Auntie Deb.

As I say good bye and walk towards my van, the wind chime sings a soft song to me. Hello Kathleen, I loved the visit and I’m so glad you came. Thank you for the tea. I hear you, I love you, I feel you and boy do I miss you my beautiful friend. 💜