I just saw a tik tok yesterday that said

“The experiences and people you encounter are meant to be for you and the ones you don’t, simply are not.”

It really made me stop and think as I struggle with a decision that was made for me. I’m using that to aid in my healing from my hurt.

I believe you are not in full control of the things that happen to you, the people you were meant to walk with or the responses from others. I believe there are lessons in every experience no matter good or not the best. I believe from all things we learn and it spring boards us into or onto the thing, the place, the person we were destined to encounter.

I am a seeker of understanding the why but perhaps that’s not always necessary. Perhaps that does not always need to be known or energy put to it. Perhaps I should do what I need in that moment with the ‘control’ that I have, embrace the experience for what it is and await the launch into the next thing I’m destined to be a part of.

What is challenging is my ‘all in’ mentality, my feeling from tips to top, am I capable of dipping my toe in?

With my current experience, that choice has been made for me, I can only dip my toe in. I can sit in bitterness and resentment or I can embrace what I can experience. I’m choosing to let go of my frustration and lean into what matters.

I love that one of my most favourite people on the planet sent me this:

“I am sad for you when I read this, this morning. What a terribly hard time during someone’s life in the end, especially knowing it’s coming. I know you are strong and put on a brave face. I know this is crumbling you inside. You are a helper and a giver. I’m sorry you are unable to be there for her physically.

I think that haunting U Deryk is an appropriate consequence 😂😂 This also shows us the importance of discussing how we want our death to look like.

Life and death – the concept of us humans on this earth created by the big guy up stairs, to live and love and adventure and feel and be, makes me baffled somedays. I take comfort in knowing we will see our people again.

Because feeling love can’t end here.

Grief is weird and messy and hard. You’ve seen so much loss in your life. I can’t imagine the feelings leading up to hearing the news of another.

I love you beyond life. Big hugs! Wishing you comfort over the next while, and wishing her pain free days.”

When I think of destiny or fate, I automatically think of positive experiences. I don’t think of the outcome as destiny or fate but rather the experiences within them. 💕